Fashington DC

Fascism of the Untied States of America

"The Curious Case of Fashington, D.C. Now down here in Georgia, we ain’t ones to exaggerate… much. But I’m tellin’ you plain: somethin’ ain’t right up in Fashington, D.C. Used to be you went to Washington for speeches, handshakes, and folks arguin’ polite-like while doin’ nothin’. But one year somebody misspelled the welcome sign, dropped the W, and ever since then it’s been Fashington—and buddy, the vibe changed. First thing folks noticed was the rules. Rules for walkin’. Rules for thinkin’. Rules for clappin’, and a whole pamphlet explainin’ how enthusiastic your clappin’ was allowed to be. You clap too soft, suspicious. Too loud, also suspicious. Best just nod respectfully and stare at the middle distance. Everybody in Fashington wears the same color suit. Don’t matter if it’s July and hotter than a goat in a pepper patch—you best be zipped up, buttoned down, and emotionally neutral. Smilin’ without authorization? That’s a form. They got slogans everywhere. Big ones. Shiny ones. “UNITY THROUGH AGREEMENT.” “FREEDOM, AS APPROVED.” “QUESTIONING IS STRONGLY DISCOURAGED.” Now I asked a fella once, real polite, “Excuse me, sir, what happens if someone disagrees?” He leaned in real close and whispered, “Well bless your heart… we don’t do that anymore.” News comes on at exactly the same time every day, sayin’ exactly the same thing, just with slightly different enthusiasm. Weather’s always “acceptable.” Economy’s always “robust in spirit.” And liberty? Oh, liberty’s doin’ just fine—as long as it stays in its assigned lane. Meanwhile, back in Georgia, we watch all this on TV, sittin’ on the porch, sweet tea in hand. Mama shakes her head and says, “That ain’t America, that’s a paperwork cult.” And the dog growls every time Fashington comes on the screen, which frankly feels like good judgment. So if you ever hear someone say America’s gone full Fashington, don’t panic. Just remember: Down here, we still argue loud, dress how we please, and distrust anything that needs that many slogans. And if Fashington ever tries tellin’ Georgia how to live? Well now. That conversation ain’t gonna fit in a pamphlet."